Have I ever mentioned how much I am in love with a genius-inspired household cleaning product called the "Magic Eraser"? Now lest you think that this is some Martha Stewart tip from a domestic goddess wifey type, let me set the record straight. I HATE HOUSEKEEPING. And I'm no good at it and therefore I seldom do it. I bang my knuckles, knock into things, break fingernails, and develop dry nasty crocodile hands. This last bit about the hands is partly due to the dry nature of my skin type, but also because I'm a bit compulsive about hand washing. So after I touch something dirty and icky I just have to wash my hands with soap and water. This in addition to any exposure to the soap and water involved in the house cleaning itself. It's endless. Anyway, I digress. About the Magic Eraser. This thing is not just to be added to your arsenal of cleaning products. It is THE cleaning product. For those who have never had the pleasure I'll explain as best I can. This thing looks like a sponge but it's really magic. No I mean really. Actual magic. You just soak it in water, squeeze it out, and without spraying any cleaner, or soaking in suds, you just start rubbing. Not even hard, just kind of casual rubbing does the trick. And Voila! Dirt and stains are GONE. And I mean the stubborn stuff that won't come off with a sandblaster and dynamite. For instance. Our condo was built with kitchen cupboards that have no friggin knobs. These are what I like to call the Marquis de Sade Fractured Fingernail model of cupboard doors, sold widely in the 80's to cheap construction companies. So anyway, we keep the olive oil in the cupboard above the stove. So you scrabble underneath the stupid cupboard door to get a fingerhold on it to open it. Fine. Then you use the oil which of course according to all the laws of physics, mathematics and chaos theory ends up all over your fingers. Now you go to put the oil back in the cupboard, and you close the cupboard how? By pressing your oily fingers against the knobless door of course. Over time this repeated oily finger maneuver leaves an indelible smooge of oil on the stupid door. You may not notice it until you happen to see it in just the right sunlight. This is one of the reasons I do not allow sunlight in my house. (Kidding.) Well I tried Formula 409. No good. Windex. No good. A scrubby sponge. No good. Goo Gone. (I was so sure that would do it. Goo Gone is actually a close second to the Magic Eraser in my book of most genius household cleaning products. But that's for another blog.) No good.THEN (and this is where the harp sounds and the sunlight breaks through the clouds) I discovered the Magic Eraser. I bought it. I tried it. OIL SMOOGE GONE. I was overcome with joy. I tried it on a nasty berry stain on the counter. GONE. I tried it on the dirty finger print laden area around the front door. GONE. By now I'm hooked and catching a killer buzz from my success. I'm flitting like a hummingbird from one soiled surface to another. Sweating, grinding my teeth, eyes wild. GIVE ME MORE. I know! The bathroom! Those stupid grainy spots on the tub floor that keep you from slipping and breaking your head but are impossible to ever get clean ever......CLEAN! And it wasn't even hard! By now my Magic Eraser is down to the size of an actual eraser because as you use it, it gets smaller and smaller. Now I'm panicking. I'm almost out! Gotta get another one. I'm not done yet!
I did indeed go out and stock up on more Magic Erasers but not before using up the last vestige of the one I had. I gleefully rubbed away the hand smudges on the wall around the thermostat. Of course since some of the "magic" in the eraser involves some sort of abrasive, yes I did rub off a few small spots of paint. But who cares, that's what Wite-Out is for! (Another wifey domestic goddess tip for ya.)
Well, I just felt compelled to share this good news with all of you. If you're not using the Magic Eraser, well you just don't know what you're missing. A caveat is in order, however. It is habit forming, and may I say even addictive. But not to worry. My next project is starting a support group called Magic Eraser-anon. I've been in contact with Proctor & Gamble and Mr. Clean himself has agreed to speak at the first meeting.
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