Baby Showers - Not For Women Only

So in my ongoing and painful initiation into the 21st century my most recent discovery is that baby showers are not just for the ladies anymore.  Whole families attend now, husbands and boyfriends included.  And other babies and toddlers.  Which is kind of a bummer because the mother-to-be at the center of it all is treated to a very harsh look into her wailing, pooping, sleep-deprived near future. 

I remember a time in a century not long ago when baby showers were a strictly feminine affair. Ladies would gather in someone’s living room and sit around drinking punch from little glass cups.  The gifts were relatively inexpensive items that would be necessary for the initial care of the newborn.  Things like bibs, diapers, diaper bags and the like.  The more expensive gifts would be given after the baby was born and everyone knew whether it was a girl or a boy.  And yes I know how ancient that makes me sound. Of course sometimes a few ladies would pool their money and buy a more expensive item like a bassinet or something.   

Well I just went to a modern day baby shower this last weekend.  It was my granddaughter’s baby shower.  Let me clarify:  my granddaughter is not the bun in the oven, my granddaughter is the one WITH the bun in the oven.  So yes, the aforementioned bun is my great-grandchild.  Anyone doing the math out there might now reasonably assume I am older than dirt.  But in fact I am not as aged as this makes me sound. 

Anyway, we already know that the great-grandchild is a boy. This is not new of course, knowing ahead of time whether it’s a girl or boy.   What is new is that in addition to baby showers, people apparently also have ‘reveal parties’ where they concoct clever ways to reveal the gender of the baby to family and friends.  I have heard, among other things, that the mother-to-be (probably along with the father, who really should be in the next room drinking a beer and watching the game in his undershirt) cuts into a cake which has been colored either pink or blue inside.  Can I hear a group “Awwwwww”? Big reveal!

Okay, so back to my granddaughter’s baby shower.  First of all there were more people packed into that house than fans at a playoff game. The gift area was roughly the size of…. well the size of the room.  Instead of punch there was beer for the guys and Mimosas for the gals. Oops that’s sexist.  A lot of the gals were drinking the beer actually.  I don’t know what the toddlers were drinking.  But it was festive.  Things to eat, things to drink, and of course the obligatory plates full of cupcakes with blue frosting.  So we all had blue teeth.  This went on for about the first hour.  Then it was gift opening time.

And that went on for about two hours.  At the beginning, each gift lifted high for all to see was met with a chorus of “Awwwww!”  But the chorus got weaker after about the first half hour, replaced with an occasional “Uh huh.”  Even the mother-to-be’s eyes kind of glazed over after awhile. Most of us began trolling for more beers and Mimosas.  

But the clothes this kid got!  Boat loads of clothes.  And I’m told that one of the cute little tiny jackets still had the price tag of $100 dangling from its tiny sleeve.  Are you kidding me? 

Well anyway, it was a nice party.  I got to see my kids and grandkids and then of course there were the Mimosas.  And I’m glad my great-grandson will be so dapper. 

Can’t wait to see him spit up on that hundred dollar jacket.