Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Baby Showers - Not For Women Only



So in my ongoing and painful initiation into the 21st century my most recent discovery is that baby showers are not just for the ladies anymore.  Whole families attend now, husbands and boyfriends included.  And other babies and toddlers.  Which is kind of a bummer because the mother-to-be at the center of it all is treated to a very harsh look into her wailing, pooping, sleep-deprived near future. 

I remember a time in a century not long ago when baby showers were a strictly feminine affair. Ladies would gather in someone’s living room and sit around drinking punch from little glass cups.  The gifts were relatively inexpensive items that would be necessary for the initial care of the newborn.  Things like bibs, diapers, diaper bags and the like.  The more expensive gifts would be given after the baby was born and everyone knew whether it was a girl or a boy.  And yes I know how ancient that makes me sound. Of course sometimes a few ladies would pool their money and buy a more expensive item like a bassinet or something.   

Well I just went to a modern day baby shower this last weekend.  It was my granddaughter’s baby shower.  Let me clarify:  my granddaughter is not the bun in the oven, my granddaughter is the one WITH the bun in the oven.  So yes, the aforementioned bun is my great-grandchild.  Anyone doing the math out there might now reasonably assume I am older than dirt.  But in fact I am not as aged as this makes me sound. 

Anyway, we already know that the great-grandchild is a boy. This is not new of course, knowing ahead of time whether it’s a girl or boy.   What is new is that in addition to baby showers, people apparently also have ‘reveal parties’ where they concoct clever ways to reveal the gender of the baby to family and friends.  I have heard, among other things, that the mother-to-be (probably along with the father, who really should be in the next room drinking a beer and watching the game in his undershirt) cuts into a cake which has been colored either pink or blue inside.  Can I hear a group “Awwwwww”? Big reveal!

Okay, so back to my granddaughter’s baby shower.  First of all there were more people packed into that house than fans at a playoff game. The gift area was roughly the size of…. well the size of the room.  Instead of punch there was beer for the guys and Mimosas for the gals. Oops that’s sexist.  A lot of the gals were drinking the beer actually.  I don’t know what the toddlers were drinking.  But it was festive.  Things to eat, things to drink, and of course the obligatory plates full of cupcakes with blue frosting.  So we all had blue teeth.  This went on for about the first hour.  Then it was gift opening time.

And that went on for about two hours.  At the beginning, each gift lifted high for all to see was met with a chorus of “Awwwww!”  But the chorus got weaker after about the first half hour, replaced with an occasional “Uh huh.”  Even the mother-to-be’s eyes kind of glazed over after awhile. Most of us began trolling for more beers and Mimosas.  

But the clothes this kid got!  Boat loads of clothes.  And I’m told that one of the cute little tiny jackets still had the price tag of $100 dangling from its tiny sleeve.  Are you kidding me? 

Well anyway, it was a nice party.  I got to see my kids and grandkids and then of course there were the Mimosas.  And I’m glad my great-grandson will be so dapper. 

Can’t wait to see him spit up on that hundred dollar jacket.  









Thursday, January 21, 2016

Text or Texted?



Just what IS the past tense of text?

First of all, text used to be a noun.  Text was what we read in our textbooks at school.  Text is simply the sum of a bunch of words written in sentences.  The result of all that black and white is the text.  As in, “according to the text…”

Now we enter the age of text messaging.  And initially that’s what each little electronic correspondence was called; a text message.  We “sent a text message” to someone.  The text message quickly became simply a text.   

Then as we became even lazier as we always do, it became much easier to say “I’ll text you” rather than “I’ll send you a text.”  Thus the noun text has also become a verb. 

No one minds.    This happens a lot in modern language usage.  Things change and evolve.  Google also used to be a noun.  A proper noun in fact.  Not anymore.  When was the last time you heard anyone say, “I did a Google search to find out whether George Clooney is still married, or is possibly looking for another suitable mate such as myself.”  Now we simply say “I Googled George Clooney.”  (The rest is not germane to this discourse except that it may offer an embarrassing peek into my leisure time.)

In regards to Google, no one disputes that the past tense is Googled.

But with texting, it’s a different matter.  I have noticed that large numbers of people do not change the word to indicate past tense. For example,  “I text him yesterday, but he didn’t answer.”  I on the other hand would say, “I texted him yesterday and he didn’t answer.  The bastard.” 

So which is it, I wonder?  Since this new wrinkle of turning a noun into a verb is relatively recent, I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules of grammar to cover it.  But it always sounds odd to me to simply say ‘text’ instead of ‘texted’ when using it in the past tense.  Then again I suppose ‘texted’ can sound a little moronic too.  Like hearing someone say, “I casted my fishing line into the water.”  Past tense of cast is cast.  So should it be the same for text?  But past tense of rest is rested.   So where does that leave us?

Perhaps an opinion poll is in order.  What do YOU say? 
You can comment here.  Or you can text me.